One with the Swarm: The Little Girls We Were
by Stephyblue
Summary: Set in a Sci-fi future, Rachel and Quinn are friends until their lives are torn apart by the invading Swarm. Set 15 years after the invasion, they reunite, only to discover their battle is just beginning. The first step: reclaiming Quinn's humanity.
1. Alpha and Omega

A/N: I had to write this or I was gonna die. I'll be done with the next chapter of L&L soon. Also... I'm doing a sequel to it. :) Hope you enjoy this one as well as I take you into another world. Well, a few new ones anyway.

A/N 2: Now fixed with the proper bolding and italics.

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**Alpha and Omega**

**Chapter 1**

The day the Hive War began, was the day that everything else ended.

I will never forget it. I want to, but I can't wish away what it was like to watch the home I loved, be destroyed.

Tir Andol.

It was a class M planet, just like the Earth so many people reference. Oceans that foamed against sandy shores and mountains that cut purple shadows against a brilliant sunset. The founders of Tir Andol and its cities had used care in her terraforming. Unlike the errors of precursor planets, they had kept a careful eye on the natural world. And so even as sprawling silver buildings thrust toward the sky, the glorious green world had lived in tandem.

That was my favorite part. The small animals and massive canopies of trees that never seemed to end when viewed from the window of my parents' apartment. I used to stare at the sprawl of the natural world, palms and forehead to the glass, I could watch for hours as the world shifted into the color of night.

Tir Andol was also where the Galactic Academy was, where I went to school to follow in the footsteps of my fathers. Both were highly decorated Federation officers, my father LeRoy even becoming a Sovereign in the Coalition Cabinet on behalf of Tir Andol.

And though the moniker of responsibility should have weighed heavily on me, it didn't. I like to believe that my parents were a progressive sort, who realized I would become who I was meant to be, not who they wished I would become. I know they held silent hope that my drive and their dreams were one in the same, but they didn't press me, didn't force me into a line of study. They simply filled my world with education, interaction, music and laughter, so very much unlike others who looked to break under the strain of the shoes they were trying to fill.

At thirteen, I had already risen to the silent challenge issued forth by my lineage. While I might have been known for my carefree laughter, impromptu melodies and unflappable happy-go-lucky persona, I had filled display cases full of trophies and awards. Rigorously and with a type of zeal I cannot understand in totality, I achieved things I still marvel at privately to this day. And as silly as it might have been, I would stare at the cases of my conquests as much as I stared at the outside.

I'm glad I did, because they only exist now in my memories.

The Swarm came, when I was eighteen. It's hard to believe I have been at war for so long, but yes – fifteen years have passed since that day. That day had been different than others even before the siege because I hadn't been at home. I had been out in the wild beautiful green world, with her.

It twists me up every time I think about it, because I don't want to make her synonymous with the horrors that have followed. However, every time I think of Tir Andol, or the Swarm or even the Coalition and the Academy – I think of her.

Her name was Quinn Fabray.

She was one of my classmates, my enemy and then a friend, whose family lived in the same block of buildings as mine. We had known one another for years, fought on occasion, laughed much more frequently later on. It's hard for me to find a memory of my adolescence that doesn't include her, because she was so deeply a part of it. This day when everything fell apart, was no different.

The rain had been coming down around us for some time, and had finally let up enough that we could resume our hike through the grass. Quinn had been ahead of me, her academy uniform of a tunic and pants seemingly far too light to walk through the rain in, and certainly far too thin for the chill in the air. I didn't understand why she had been wearing them still.

Her hands had dragged through the brush, both pushing the reeds apart and grabbing them as she passed. "Think anyone will see us?"

I remember having looked back over my shoulder, a flash of white hot ice sliding against my spine. "I don't know. We should get away from the street."

"Yeah."

We had hurried along then, moving swiftly through the wet grass. To this day I still don't know what we were afraid of. Certainly my fathers would have saved us from any type of punishment for invading a government sanctioned preserve. However, the fear had been there, nipping at my heels as I had followed in her wake. Whatever concerns we had were most certainly born from the minds of the children we once were. And we really were such wonderful innocent children then, despite how self-actualized we thought we were.

Once we had stopped, Quinn's eyes had drifted to the massive city punctuating the sky beside us. "I like it better here." She had said then, her head sweeping from the monoliths of buildings, to the organic swirls of nature. It was in direct contrast to who she was perceived to be. Her streamlined perfection seemed like it would have been much more at home in the gilded shimmer of the city, than punctuated against a wash of green land and gray sky.

"Me too."

Before us, the dewy greens and yellows gave way to a stand of weeping willow trees, and further back, past them, more high edged foliage flanked the back of the quadrant before spilling to a Zone Line and the forest beyond.

That was how the planet Tir Andol was, a mosaic of forest and city, powered in zones to care and sustain its inhabitants. I remember thinking very superficially about the powers it took to alter the face of a planet while staring at the shimmering Zone Line. Though, after suffering through only the very basics of geoengineering by this time, anything beyond the use of the Dyson Sphere for energy amplification was pushing it for me.

Instead of delving into it further, I had looked up then, tasting rain on my lips and staring at the gray sky as I walked. I remember how the clouds raced, zealous in their chase of one another, and obscured the massive circular vessel I couldn't see, but knew was there. The Federation ship, Anima. It was where my parents spent their days working alongside other commanding officers.

"My family and I will be leaving Tir Andol soon on an exploratory mission." Quinn had looked back at me then, her face frowning and green eyes dark. "I don't want to go."

I remember shrugging coolly even though the thought of it upset me. I wanted to be brave - confident. "It will be fun. You'll get to see other things."

Quinn turned around fully then, walking backward as she stared at me. "I want to finish my classes at the academy."

"You'll get credits for it, so when you come back, you'll still be on the same track as me."

"I'll be far away though and what if I don't come back?"

"You'll come back and you'll be in space. You might even get to captain the ship." I had said it with all the vibrato of who I felt I was supposed to be, never mind that my yearning and dreams of music were much more important to me.

"What if I don't want to be in space and pilot anything?" Quinn had asked after a moment.

"Who doesn't want to be a captain?" I was, and in some ways still am, very dense. And afraid. I was afraid of the option of something else. She had glanced back over her shoulder then to steer around a tree stump, and I stole that opportunity to stare at her, or rather marvel at her.

My memories of her are so vivid at this part.

Quinn's blonde hair had been dark. It was always darker when it was wet and tucked like it was behind her ears, I remember watching a droplet of water fall from one thick gathering of strands. I had traced its path down to where I could see every raindrop's marking on her white academy tunic, the way it had soaked through enough at her shoulders for me to see her bra straps. It had felt so illicit; the stolen glances of those punctuations of white even though I had seen them before.

This time it had felt like it was all for me, a gift from the universe that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

"What are you thinking about?" She had asked innocently, or perhaps not so innocently as I recall the smile she had on her face and the knowledge I have now.

She had had a great smile and more than once I have wondered what the grown version would look like. Would it still be so cheeky and flirty at the same time? Would the grown woman have made my heart race just as it did so long ago?

Caught in my inspection I had looked away quickly. "Nothing." I busied myself with the grass, pulling a long strand free and whipping it away. Behind me, the sound of a vehicle flying over the wet pavement drew our attention. We both stopped, looking back at the street.

"We need to go deeper."

Right as she said it, Quinn turned and bolted forward. I followed in her wake, the crunch and squeak of wet grass was as loud as my rushed breath.

We had ducked under the willow trees then, breathing hard, laughing a little. I remember staring at the logs underneath it and the charred patch in the middle, a makeshift campground built by others.

"Cool." She had breezed, and I looked up at her then. I can't remember her exact words. I want to and have tried to; I have played this memory in my mind more times than I can count. I watch her mouth move; watch the softness of her lips break and a frown form on her face.

I think she said she was sad she was leaving.

And then we were sitting, her long legs at odd angles on the log she was attempting to sit on. The image of youthful vulnerability she exuded was even more dramatic with how her clothing clung to her, and how her ever-emotionless facade seemed broken wide open. For someone as set on perfection, the disjointed image of too much limbs and hair in disarray, gave her a very innocent look as she shifted to get comfortable.

In truth, I had always admired her strength and confidence, so it took years for me to realize how very fragile she was back then. I didn't realize the full extent of how difficult it must have been to manage exponential pressure to be highly achieving and yet untouchably utopian. That she couldn't seek comfort, or solace, because she had to be a limitless self-sustaining engine. And though she had always seemed to take it in stride, effortlessly swallowing years of pressure and regimented torment, I now recognize the vulnerability of her.

I didn't see it then, but I know so much better now.

"Can I ask you something?" She whispered, and recalling that moment I can tell it was a hesitant question.

I had been braiding the stray branches from the willow. "Sure."

"If I tell you a secret will you promise not to tell anyone?"

"A secret?" I clarified, stalling as my heart had started to race. I had never been privy to a secret that needed a preface before.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I promise."

"You swear?"

I laughed then, "I swear. We can shake on it if you want." She scowled at me.

"If I tell you this secret, you can't tell your dads or anyone about it."

Her eyes were so intense, so serious; that I spoke in a whisper for fear any loud sound would stop her from imparting her secret unto me.

"All right."

"I don't want to go into space because I'm not cut out for it. I cheat on all my tests at the academy."

In that moment, looking at my friend who I remember respecting and being academically challenged by, her words had certainly unnerved me.

"Cheat? How?"

"I get the answers."

"But how?" I had urged, feeling the first roll of irritation wash into me. If Quinn could cheat, certainly there were others who could. I didn't cheat, so I was studying for nothing and it was that more than anything that made me angry.

"I can get them." She fixed her eyes on my face with that chartreuse and gold intensity again and I swallowed, willing my voice to work.

_**Like this.**_

I actually remember opening my mouth to answer her until I realized that she hadn't parted her lips; that she was still staring at me with that penetrating hazel gaze. However, it had been unmistakable, I had heard her speak.

My throat literally froze shut, making my breath come out in a wheeze. I don't know how long we sat there staring at each other in some type of visual death grip. I feigned thought, or perhaps I did try to think of something benign to say. After an eternity of waiting, even in my own memory, I leaned forward. "Do it again."

_**You don't have to speak for me to hear you. That is how I get the answers, when the instructor thinks about them.**_

_Can you hear me right now?_

_**Yes.**_

_Can you read my mind?_

_**I'm not trying. Just your words.**_

"You better not read my mind." I had whispered harshly, panicked.

Quinn had startled then, physically rocking in her place like I had hit her. "I won't. That isn't fair." She had sounded very small and frightened in that moment.

I remember feeling torn about it, about all the reasons I should be mad and yet not wanting to be because I was fascinated, intrigued – and even more so grateful she had shared such a huge secret with me. As always though, I gave in to the first reactions I still struggle to control. "Cheating isn't fair."

"No." She had frowned, eyes cast downward. "It's not."

"You read their minds. How do I know you won't read mine?"

"Because you are my friend and that makes it different. I promise I won't."

_But how do I know for sure?_ I stare at her, waiting.

"What?" She asks after a moment.

"I was speaking in my head."

"Oh." She concentrates on my face. "Go ahead."

_I already have my answer, I guess._

_**Answer to what?**_

_My question._

_**Oh. Okay. Good.**_

"How does it work?"

"What do you mean?" She cocks her head to the side.

"How do you read minds?"

She frowns. "It's like doors. I can walk through them, in my head. The first is words, the second is reading someone's mind, and the third is tying my thoughts to someone elses, I think."

"What do you mean, you think?"

She sighs. "I don't know how to explain it."

At the time, I was rather innocent about the whole thing. I didn't understand in any way how abrasive and cold my questions could be as I probed her for her secrets. She humored them, quietly, if not rather shyly divulging her understanding of her gifts. It was rudimentary compared to what I understand about psychic manipulation now, but I cherish the memories of her explaining it to me.

It's funny that it took fifteen years for me to realize that Quinn had never been shy, but she had been that day. Tentative, hopeful and perhaps a little overwhelmed - I didn't see how unguarded she was. As I've done through my whole life, I steamrolled it, took advantage of it, and didn't appreciate it like I do now.

There was only one moment that I did appreciate. My memories coalesce and sharpen here, because what comes next is a memory that keeps me warm all these long cold nights in space.

I had leaned forward excitedly. "Show me."

_**Show you what?**_

_That you can read my mind._

_**I thought you didn't want me to.**_

_Just now, with my permission._

I tried to think of something, anything - but nothing came. Then, with uncanny clarity, I saw her standing in the field again, with water coming down on her and her bra strap showing through her tunic. And the only thought that echoes through my mind is an accolade to her beauty.

_**Wow, thank you.**_

Quinn at least had the decency to blush. Which isn't to say that I didn't, no - I most certainly did, I think my face could've started the campfire up between us if I had dry brush to press to my cheek then.

_Could you see it, or just hear it, or what?_

_**I can see it and hear it too.**_

_You weren't supposed to see or hear that then._

_**Why not?**_

_Because it was random, and I didn't mean to think that._

_**Oh. Okay. It's okay, I mean.**_

I felt like she is giving me permission to romanticize her. Now, I know she was. After what comes next in my memories.

_What is the third door about?_

It made her nervous instantly, I know that now, when I recall the way her teeth went straight to her lips and chewed them. She never chewed her lips before. Quinn had never surrendered this much of herself ever, not that I had seen.

_**I'm not sure.**_

_About?_

_**About that part.**_

_Oh come on._ I had chided, half begging.

She had looked around our little alcove and then held out her hand. _**I need you to hold my hand.**_ I licked my lips as I took it.

_Why?_

_**Because I don't want you to run away.**_

"What?" I had said aloud, but she laughed and I did a little too.

_**No. Really, I don't want you to leave.**_

And when her eyes lifted to mine, I swear I had never felt anything like it in my life. I still haven't. It really did feel like a door opening, like reality unlocked and pushed in on itself. And suddenly I could see what she could see. I could both see her and myself in her eyes, but it wasn't just what I could view in my mind, it was what I could feel. It was almost as I became aware of it, the wall of emotion hit me.

_**Don't go.**_

Her voice was very clear, and her hand tightened on mine. To this day, after living through hell and heaven alike, I can say with certainty that I've never experienced quite so much in one moment. It was like Quinn's entire life, every emotion she had experienced, had been injected into me. From the way her expression shifted in my memories, I assume she felt the same thing.

It's called calibration. I didn't know it then, but as they years have gone on, I've learned a lot. It is an emotional and synaptic calibration of the connection between two people.

And after calibrating, after learning everything she'd been through and hoped and dreamed, I opened my eyes as a totally different person. Well, perhaps it wasn't entirely different, but it was certainly changed.

_You can't go to space. You need to do what makes you happy and learn more about your gift._

_**And you don't have to be a captain if you don't want to, you should sing. You shouldn't give it up.**_

She moves her hand from mine, circling my arm softly. I want her to pull me closer, so she does, because we are perfectly connected. She smiles at me, knowingly, her eyes almost swirling and churning as I slide to my knees before her. God, her eyes are so beautiful.

_**Thank you.**_

She joins me in the dust.

_You have no idea how much I love them, how much I like sharing this with you._

I literally feel her heart stop beating like it's my own, and when it starts again, it pounds. Her lips smile, and I feel heat on my face, but I'm not sure if its her blush or mine.

I swallow hesitantly as I direct my gaze to her mouth and feel the tug on my lips as she chews her own.

_I can feel everything your body does._

_**Me too.**_

_Have you ever done this with anyone else?_

_**No, I tried it with my dog cause I didn't want anyone to know. I was kinda hungry and playful for a day.**_

I laugh and her own humor tickles my senses making the giggles we get that much more profound.

_So it lingers?_

_**Yes, for a little bit.**_

_Let's share something._

Her eyes go about as wide as I've ever seen them._ **What do you mean?**_

_I don't know._

_**Like what? I'm sure you can think of something.**_

Okay, so. I might have been kinda dense, but I certainly wasn't naive as an eighteen year old girl. I was a perfectly normal young woman, and all the bits and pieces that went with that, which included emotionally triggered desire. After sharing such a startling rush of feelings, a connection stronger than anything I had ever felt and a shearing of my existence with someone else, it was a logical progression that the desires I had idly contemplated previously would suddenly rush to the surface.

And they did.

The thoughts that went through my mind when Quinn asked the question, actually made her mouth drop open when they shot between our shared consciousness so vibrantly. I just about died in embarrassment, but because she could feel how mortified I was in their divulgence, she blushed for me instead.

_**It's okay.**_

I think I kept repeating a mantra of profanities, until I pulled my hand back from hers. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I-" I claw to get air in my lungs with how tight my throat is. "I-I just, um, it isn't something I, well that I think about, that I thought about."

_**In your mind you're saying that you think about it a lot despite what your mouth is saying.**_ This is a very dangerous gift she has. _**Give me your hand again.**_

I stare at her palm. _I'm sorry._

Quinn smiles cryptically._** I'm not mad, it's okay.**_

I give her my hand and she twists her fingers with mine. _**I think it's only fair that you feel this in trade.**_ She focuses on me so intently I drop my eyes, and suddenly I feel heat spread through me. It feels like my whole chest is dripping into my stomach, like I've sprung a leak. And that warmth settles lower; it puts a tingle in my lower back and an ache in my abdomen. It makes me able to feel my heartbeat, but it's not mine. It's hers.

I realize I'm staring at her chest, and I direct my gaze lower, feeling that warmth again. _I can feel what you feel when I look there._

_**Then go lower.**_

I lick my lips as the wave of expectation makes me light-headed. _Are you serious?_

_**Yes.**_

I hesitantly graze my eyes over where her pants pleat in her lap and I feel the throb, the tingle, the warmth, the desire. It makes my own body respond, but it's more intense because the urge I feel is being backed by what I know she feels._ God, is that what you feel?_

_**Yes, because of what I saw in your mind.**_

_You liked it?_

_**Can't you tell?**_

_Is this what it always feels like for you when you're-_ I can't even finish the thought.

_**Sometimes. It's much stronger now because I've never felt someone else's desire before.**_

I realize she's breathing harder, and her eyes are sliding over me. Reading me. Feeling me.

_**Kiss me.**_

_What?_ I question, snapping my eyes to her face.

She doesn't repeat her question, she projects it across my mind, the way she wants me to grab her and kiss her and her needy whine that follows it. And when compelled by that image, there is no question as to what I should do.

At this point in my life, I had probably kissed two or three people. However, when I cupped the back of her head and pulled her against my lips just as she wanted me too, it was like nothing had ever come before her. And to be honest, nothing has come since except fantasy. Not since that instant where her lips tangled with mine. It was my first and last kiss.

It was the only, in my mind.

That moment was the culmination of every romantic dream I had ever had, that I still continue to have.

I remember one other thing actually before it all came to an end. It's the part I perseverate on the most and have romanticized every day since.

I remember pulling back and staring into her eyes as we knelt under the trees, trembling with her while we felt so much between one another. I remember that instant, and it's frozen like a picture in my mind. The way we held each other ungainly beside the burnt out campfire and how open and honest and beautiful those ethereal eyes were. How much I loved her in that moment, and how when that feeling of love had carved through me, her lips had pulled into a smile when she felt it too.

It was the last beautiful moment in my life, because not a second later, we heard the explosions and everything fell apart.

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So now I stand, a lifetime later and a world apart from that moment, and yet not. Life is funny that way.

"Captain Berry?"

I direct my eyes to the tribunal above me. To the faceless members of the Coalition that have slowly rebuilt over the last 15 years. My father is no longer one of them, he lives only in the dust of my memories. "Yes?"

The shadows are harsh and dark. "I asked if you knew about the Omega Project?"

I nod lightly. "The program that enhances the power of psychics to use against the Swarm? Yes, I've heard of it."

It's where Quinn ended up going. I'll never get past it, how she left me for the good of a crumbling civilization. It doesn't matter if it was for her protection, the child I was that lost so much, needed her. Even as a rational adult, it still hurts.

"Yes, that program." The faces above me move and shift, looking to one another for something. "We have lost an asset."

"Lost an asset?" I clarify, "how did we lose this asset?"

"That is classified."

Of course it is. My blood runs cold anyway. "Was the asset stolen?" I probe.

"We don't know, but we need you to retrieve it. We have tracked her to the edge of the quadrant."

I swallow hesitantly. "Her?" I try to not make it sound like I'm hoping for something.

When the hologram pings into the space before me, the image numbs my fingers with the speed it races to stop my heart. It's her.

Quinn.

Older certainly, but no less beautiful. It's been so long since I put eyes on her face. It jars me, because these damn holograms look so real. I can't pull my eyes from the image as I circle it, the life sized figure of her daring me to reach out and touch it as she leans against an invisible wall. I wonder what she was doing, what she was thinking when this image was captured.

It chokes my throat tightly. "When did this breech happen?"

"The alert was issued two days ago at 0400, and we had a subsequent trigger of a shuttle being stolen."

I have often thrown out a thought to the universe, hoping that I would get an answer. Hoping that I would hear her voice pepper back to me. I thought I heard it once, years ago, that she wanted me to come to her. But then I learned that in Antioch, all psychic activity is dampened and cloaked to protect against the Swarm.

Because they want the talent we have in the worst way.

The dead way.

"It isn't safe to be out there." I whisper absently, my eyes firming to the vacant drifted gaze she has in this image.

A voice from the Coalition answers my statement. "No, it isn't. We have word that the Swarm has begun to move erratically since the asset went in the wind. She isn't behind the dampening field anymore, and we fear they will get her first. I don't have to tell you what that means, so we suggest you brief the files we've provided tonight and head out at first light."

I pause, giving one last look before I turn to the faces looming above me. Like hell the Swarm will get to her before I do.

"With your permission, I'll take a cruiser and a quarter of my crew and read on the way. I'll be gone in an hour, because this asset is far too important to risk."

"You have no idea how important this is Captain." Their words chill me as I depart

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Hope you are digging it! :)


	2. What Doesn't Kill You

A/N: I'm happy to see such an excited response on a story I was concerned wouldn't have an audience. Hope you continue to enjoy as things get a little more tense in this chapter.

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**What Doesn't Kill You  
**

**Chapter 2  
**

I had wanted to stop in Antioch, to start our search there.

It was always a lot of red tape to try and get clearance. I've tried. For a few years after Quinn left I attempted to get access to visit her, to see her. And then again, after I thought I heard her voice calling to me. No matter how many times I have passed it on my travels, it was always off limits, above my pay grade and certainly out of reach.

It was just as far out of my reach as she was.

It's _still _unattainable to me. I try not to let the feelings about that ice coated asteroid spill over to my feelings about Quinn, especially when my mission _is_ to obtain her.

And no matter how much I say it is important to the mission to get docking to Antioch, to gathering intel on where these marauders might have taken Quinn, the Coalition doesn't hear a damn word I say.

It is like talking to a wall, a bureaucratic wall, and in my opinion that's the worst kind.

So, I've set a course for The Fringe as it's commonly called; heading for the last place telemetry picked up Quinn's signal. It's three days to get to the Edge of Federation Space, EoFS as it's labeled in Astrometric charts, at the speed limit in Interplanetary Airspace.

That speed limit being 30% the velocity of light.

I'm normally a law abiding captain, but not today, not when the trickle of worry is bleeding through me like it is now. I had given the order for maximum speed, much to the surprise of my crew.

And thanks to that extra speed, we are due to arrive at her last known location in fifteen hours.

I stare out the window at the blur of stars and planets as we hurl through space a little slower than the velocity of light. It's why I picked this cruiser, because she has more pick up than my battleship. Not to mention, once we hit The Fringe, I'd prefer to be a smaller more maneuverable target than ten thousand megatons of metal.

I'm worried the Swarm will make it there first. So, maybe it's a good thing I didn't get to Antioch after all.

I chew my lip in thought, eyes absently tracing the residual red streak of a nebula as we pass it in a blink. Alone in my quarters, I can shed a little of the hard edge I need to wear everywhere else. It makes it more difficult to concentrate though, because I can't stop thinking about the inoculations I got not an hour ago, three cartridges of this and that, preventative vaccinations as I was informed by my Chief Medical Officer.

I can't stop thinking that Quinn is out there and I highly doubt she had a physician in her back pocket. I can't help but ask the question of when we _do_ find her, what will we _actually_ find?

At the thought, my eyes go to my PDC sitting idly on my desk. I had set it there because even the idea of holding a Personalized Data Controller in my hand, technology almost weightless, is more weight than I can shoulder at the moment.

The Coalition's files are on it. Quinn's files.

I swallow hesitantly, at war with myself over it.

It's been two hours since I've seen her face. One hundred and twenty minutes, seventy-five hundred seconds, two thousand or so staggered breaths since Quinn Fabray leaned against a wall in a hologram and made me remember how empty I feel without her. She had stood there vacant and tired, captured forever in a moment of relaxation, and the image has literally altered everything in me.

I have kept replaying it over and over, fixating on the minutia I see in it. She looks to be about twenty four, maybe a little older. It certainly isn't an image from recently, because she had a PDC on her hip and it's a version from several years ago. I would assume that Antioch gets tech upgrades at least as fast as the rest of the Federation. If not faster.

I give into my desires and whisper them to the technology infused room around me. "Computer, retrieve declassified hologram of Fabray, Quinn."

**There are five entries. Please select from the following listing: Still 11-23-2456; Still 03-11-2461; Motion Capture 01-03-2463 -**

I interrupt the list. "Still 03-11-2461."

One of the perks of being a captain is I have my own hologram display in my quarters. The downside being, I have my own display to torture myself with. The image of her appears in the corner of my cabin, pinging through the dimness like some kind of interstellar ghost. I stare at the hologram, and from where I'm standing it almost looks like she's leaning against the wall staring at me.

It takes my breath away.

I mire myself in the hundreds of little details I can see, her hair just as long as it was the last time I saw her. Her lips- those eyes. I run a hand over my face and greedily trail my gaze over the exaggeratedly tight uniform she wears, stark white and gold in comparison to my black and silver. At her shoulder, I stare at her chevrons, counting the four of them that denote her rank.

Specialist.

I wonder what she is now.

"Computer, query database for rank and pay grade for Fabray, Quinn."

**Commander, Grade E-7**

Same grade as me, but in her branch she's a Commander and I'm a Captain. It's funny how I glean a little pride in the fact I was able to keep up with her. I have been in friendly competition all these years with a psychic after all.

Though I was always within some modest proximity to her, I take a moment to approach the hologram, standing within a breath of the image before me. I lift my head slightly, staring up into her cast away gaze. If I imagine it, it looks as though I just said something funny and she's rolling her eyes away, getting ready to give me that smile.

"Commander."

I loved her so much. And when my fingers reach up and slide through the image of her I realize what I'm doing.

My thoughts halt instantly and I put distance between me and the literal ghost in my memories.

My comlink chimes and I tap my shoulder quickly. "Yes?"

"Captain." It's my Chief Medical Officer, John Dubbs. "I'm sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to get you up to speed on my progress."

I blink at the blank surface of my desk as I lean on it. "Go ahead."

"Ma'am, inoculations are complete. I took the liberty of synthesizing an array of possible vaccinations for our target in the off chance we arrive and it's still alive."

I swallow hesitantly. "Good idea."

They have no idea what's going on, what our mission is. What they do know is that we are retrieving a lost asset. It's enough for now. I don't particularly like keeping my people in the dark, but I hate telling them things are _classified_ more. And this is most certainly classified.

"I had an idea though." I can hear him walking around through his own comlink. "If you could give me some idea as to _who _we are recovering, I might be able to help devise a way to track them."

I sigh. "It's classified." It pains me to say it.

He clears his throat lightly. "Well, in the briefing, the very _brief _briefing I might add, you said 'she' so I'm pretty certain our target is a female at the very least, correct?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Well, if you have a snippet of genetic print in all those black files the Coalition gave you, I can use it to sweep for that genetic profile. There would be no need for you tell me whose DNA it is, so as not to directly countermand your classified directive."

I feel myself pacing as I contemplate the loophole. "If they did provide it, I'll let you know. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, Captain. One other thing. Since we are heading to The Fringe I suggest we start scanning for possible exposure to radiation and photonic emissions."

I already ordered the sweeps. "I have those running already. Thank you."

"Most certainly."

I clip my comlink off.

"Computer." I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out."

**Designate command.**

"List declassified motion captures of Fabray, Quinn."

**There are three entries. Please select from the following listing: Motion Capture 01-03-2463, Motion Capture 06-08-2467, Motion Capture 07-09-2467**

"Play Motion Capture 01-03-2463."

It's uncanny, but the motion capture that pings into reality across the room from me, starts at the very image I was staring at earlier. There is no sound, but I stare at her lips as she leans back on the wall, she's talking to someone I can't see.

Her hands move slowly as she explains whatever it is she is talking about. I take a breath as Quinn's face draws into a glare. It's instant, the morph in her face, the anger I see. When she pushes off the wall, it's as elegant as it is dangerous. She moves across the room she's in and stops beside a table.

Her fingers brush across the scattered pieces of metal across the top of it. I cock my head as I watch her study it. She glances up at someone, and frowns. Her lips move briefly as she's facing where the hologram is recording from.

"Pause." I call out, freezing the image.

I swallow, moving closer, returning to where I was standing before, right in front of her.

"Play from five seconds prior."

She lifts her head, her golden hair swishing in her ponytail softly. I watch the tug on her lips, the frown form deep enough to put a frown on my face too. I narrow my eyes, waiting - staring at her lips.

They move.

"Pause."

"Repeat from one second ago."

Her lips form five words, under the intensity of my gaze.

_It hurts to do it._

"Pause." I blink, clearing my throat at the frozen misery I can see now in her face. I'm almost afraid to say my subsequent word. "Play."

Quinn swallows, narrowing her eyes. She's staring through me in the hologram and then suddenly I see a flash of something to my right. I back out of the image and through hovering bits of metal. It take a second for me to put it together, that the bits of metal floating in the air are from the table. I watch them shift, twist, turn and fit together. They are half completed when I glance back at Quinn and my heart catches in my throat.

"Pause." My voice is broken over the word.

**Invalid request, please repeat.**

"Pause." This time the computer complies with my request.

Quinn's face is twisted in what I can only explain as agony and though there is no sound, I'm certain she is screaming something. Her throat is distended, veins standing out against her skin. But it's her eyes that haunt me; it's the fact that the blood vessels in the whites of her eyes have broken from the pressure in her skull. That she's hurt and I can do nothing to stop it.

It's absolutely horrifying to see. I don't think I can watch anymore, but in direct conflict to that thought, I speak. "Play."

I watch in silent misery as a thin trail of blood comes down over her lip from her nose. it mixes with her saliva, coloring the white of her teeth.

"Oh, Quinn." When her eyes roll back in her head and she collapses I reach out to grab her. She fades right through my arms, a lifeless heap at my feet.

I've given my life to the Federation and the Coalition, but standing here over her as the hologram freezes at the end of the motion capture, I'm not sure if I can anymore. Not when I'm confronted with this.

I blink and wipe at my cheek, surprised by the tear I feel there. "Computer, play all other motion captures in sequence."

The subsequent one is the same test, but this time she assembles what I now see is a cube with much greater ease. Her face is different, colder this time. And how could it _not_ be? There are lines in her forehead, furrowed into her skin from what I can only imagine was countless times she endured this.

When I see a figure cut into the image, I actually call out to her, because he is moving up behind her as she focuses on the task before her.

And with a swift motion, he hits her hard enough over the head to knock her unconscious.

It makes me sick and for a breathless moment I think I'm going to vomit all over the hologram plate.

How fucking dare they?

"Computer, query database for individual in this hologram."

**Unable to comply. Access Restricted.**

"Whoever you are, when I find you I'm going to kill you." I promise it to the darkness in my cabin and the woman I can no longer see in the frame.

When the last motion capture spools into life, it's the same white room I've grown to hate. Quinn looks much older this time, about what her real age is now I assume, but she is incredibly worn. Markedly more than I am. Her eyes are dark, trimmed in black circles. Her hair is dull and lifeless.

She's sitting on the table, her eyes closed.

She opens them, staring blankly ahead.

I don't know what she is waiting for. Then suddenly there are pieces of cubes again, but instead of one, there are four. They click together in synchronicity, waves of metal flying with precise arcs. I stare right into her eyes, into the angry tilt of her eyebrows and the absolute void in her gaze. When the man appears again in the frame, I cover my mouth with my hand, my head shaking slowly.

I hear myself mumbling a string of no's, like I can control what's happening if I say it enough.

When he reaches out to strike her, I almost don't see it, it happens so fast. There is a motion to the extreme left of the hologram and I realize its a pistol. Standard issue, military grade. It moves into the frame and right as the man's hands come down to connect with the back of Quinn's head, the gun fires. His face melts into a pool of matter and Quinn doesn't even flinch.

Her eyes are as dead as before.

The gun turns, following someone who must be rushing from the room.

And then Quinn finally gets a flicker of something in her face, as her hands move. They tap on her legs rhythmically, like she's humming a song, like she's enjoying herself. She finishes the cubes, then her eyes narrow a fraction and she crushes them to glittering dust.

* * *

The image haunts me as I skim the files the Coalition gave me. It's three hours to The Fringe and I haven't slept. It would be impossible to.

So far I've found a plethora of bullshit, one lie after the next, after the next. All the files are commendations, status updates, presentations, doctored medical records, test results from her academy days, and a psychological profile.

It's hard to reconcile the images I saw in the motion captures with the Antioch records that indicate Quinn as a mentally stable, physically well conditioned, thirty three year old woman with above average intelligence and a rank comparable to mine.

I pause, closing my eyes.

I've done this a thousand times, and I don't think I'll ever get over the gut check of hope I feel, especially now. Especially when the only thing I want is to hear her voice. _Quinn, can you hear me?It's Rachel._ I hesitate on my thoughts, because I don't believe the words forming in my mind. _Commander Fabray?_

It feels weird calling her by rank when I've spent the last fifteen years of my life falling in love with the last fifteen minutes we had together. And there is no hologram that will change that, especially since as the hours have passed, I'm glad she blew his head off.

I wait silently for a response. I don't know why, it isn't like she is going to answer.

After hanging on the deafening silence for as long as I can, I open my eyes to the vacant darkness in my room and the files glowing translucent beside me. I read over the titles again and open her medical history.

Conspicuously missing are all the time she was treated for capillary ruptures, head wounds, concussions and it sickens me that those are just the injuries I know about.

I flick my wrist, pushing pages aside in a sweeping motion. I'm trying to get to the attachment that should have Quinn's DNA plate and a code that I can give to C.M.O. Dubbs. The word _pregnancy_ catches my attention and I pause on the report under my fingers.

My hands start sweating and I wipe them on the pants of my uniform. "What the fuck?" I lean forward, reading quickly.

It's a medical addendum, discussing the possibility of Quinn being pregnant. It links back to her psychological profile and I open both files in the air before me. This specific file has been retracted so much that it's almost unreadable. Words like 'psychological damage' and 'sterility' brand on my mind, but without context I have no idea what it's saying.

As my eyes go over the files again, I drum my desk top lightly to keep my hands busy. I don't even realize I'm spelling Quinn's name over and over in code, until I look down at my fingers.

My eyes widen, and I jump up from my desk. "Computer! Play most recent motion capture of Fabray, Quinn!"

The hologram starts again, at the beginning. "Forward one minute."

It picks up at the cubes forming.

"Forward ten seconds."

The gun appears.

"Forward five seconds."

The mans face melts in a puddle of blood.

"Forward two seconds"

The gun turns training on someone departing. I move closer and hyperfocus on her hands as they begin beating out a rhythm on her legs.

"Xray. Four. Seven. Yankee. Five. One. Two. Zulu. One hundred. Fifteen." Oh my God. It's a coordinate in space.

Her following words, absolutely stop my heart. "Save me."

I tap the comlink at my shoulder as I rush to my desk and grab my PDC, grabbing my jacket in my arms. "This is the captain speaking." My voice rolls through my room the same way it is pouring through the entire ship. "Go to battle stations and wait for my command. Code Yellow."

The lights drop around me and yellow striping paints the floor. I follow it to the deck, shrugging on my jacket and zipping it closed. When I get there, my First Office yells, "Captain on the deck."

The crew snaps to attention, stopping what they were in the middle of doing.

"Lieutenant," I direct at my pilot. "Set a course for X47, Y51, Z115."

"Yes, ma'am." He plugs it in and blinks at me when he turns. "Ma'am?

"What?" I slide into my captain's seat and project the route on the windows before me.

It's right in front of us. Not even five minutes away.

"We're practically on top of that coordinate."

"What's there?" I rush.

An Ensign behind me answers. "Captain, scans show a small asteroid about 400 meters in length. It looks like it's a remnant of a larger stellar body. This one is a porous piece."

"Captain."

I turn to my title.

"Long range scans are picking up Swarm activity nearing us. They are within twenty minutes of the coordinates you provided, and look to be converging on that location."

Fuck.

"Lieutenant, drop into hover over the asteroid. First officer, you have the helm." I stand quickly. "Harris, Donovan, Neilsen. Come with me."

"Captain, where are you going?" It's Veronica Balos, the officer I've left in charge.

"I'm leading the Away Team to recover the asset."

"But we'll have less than twenty minutes."

I give her a grim nod. "Then we better be quick about it."

* * *

Don't forget to R&R. You know how much I appreciate it. :) Thank you always.


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